


rip off my wings and call me human

by junxouji



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Closeted Character, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Remix, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 08:26:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11755914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junxouji/pseuds/junxouji
Summary: Love ishelland Jongin happens to be his glorious devil of circumstance.





	rip off my wings and call me human

**Author's Note:**

> if you do not know i turned "one-winged angel" into something sekai because i was so in love with this fic i wanted to share it between fandoms. honestly, i sometimes wonder how i can go from writing zero words per second to 32544543534. anyways, enjoy! 
> 
> psa: not beta-ed & hopefully caught all the needed changes.

_ You show me how to see.. _

_ That nothing is whole _

_ And nothing is  _ _ broken _

  
  
  
  


It’s a secret only he knows and it makes him feel  _ powerful _ .

 

The stuttering push of Jongin’s hips back against his own in such a primal way leaves the slap of skin echoing in the small room of the shitty apartment. The soft and timid moans that crescendo their way down Sehun’s spine when he angles just right burns in his memory. Only he knows the way Jongin melts at the kisses pressed against his nape fondly squeezing at Sehun’s thighs to push harder, to move faster, and to be so hot in him it burns. Only he gets to see Jongin hyung this way - although only at night.

 

When day breaks he is alone in the bed and a soreness is spreading through his chest as the remnants of Jongin lay about obvious as day. The sheets will need cleaning and he will discreetly have to return the phone charger the older male left behind in his rush. It just does not wash away the dissatisfaction of always waking up alone.

 

(It's a secret only he knows and it's  _ burdensome _ .)

 

After showering and removing the bed lenin he makes his way to the kitchen of the small apartment. Chanyeol, his roommate and best friend, is still probably fast asleep oblivious to the fact anyone had been over last night. Jongin has a way of being like that -  _ invisible _ to anyone he didn’t want to see him. His breakfast is cereal and coffee as he slouches over recalling the pleading in Jongin’s expressive dark eyes and the sultry way his mouth parted in silent moans.

 

His phone chimes next to him as he slides it unlocked to see the familiar message icon blinking rapidly:

 

**nini:** sorry i came over unannounced and uninvited last night. i am sure i am can be burdensome. how are you feeling this morning?

 

Jongin is a good guy. He really is. He may not have all his priorities straight but Sehun is not one to look down at him. But there is no denying the bitterness forming in his heart from being the cherry headed heartthrob’s booty call. Yet he never finds it in him to turn away those prettily desperate eyes or sinfully seductive lips. Jongin  _ likes _ him but he likes people thinking he is straight more which is their problem.

 

**hun:** you already know you’re welcome over whenever you want to come over. not just when you want to get laid.

 

He’s harsh and he knows it. Jongin does not deserve it. His heart is so incredibly fragile and he knows he will upset the other male. But Sehun is hurting too. The only thing that seemed remotely compatible between them anymore was their bodies. Even among their friend group Jongin did his best to avoid and seem politely distanced from him like they didn’t meet in the night many times a week.

 

Sehun knows intimate details about his hyung. He knows where he enjoys being touched, what will make him moan the loudest, and where every mole was that decorated his inner thighs. He knows the other is scared of what people might think of him and he does not want to disappoint anyone. He knows Jongin does not want to hurt him but constantly does anyway. He knows Jongin always tries to make it up to him but he cannot. Not when Sehun is a secret kept in the comfort of his bed.

 

**nini:** sehun, im sorry.

 

He doesn’t reply as he makes his way towards the door grabbing his things for class. Jongin would be throwing rocks at his window or sending texts to him tonight eager to get back on his good side.

  
  
  


“You seem so sour today.” Jongdae comments as swings a lanky arm around Sehun, “It might not be the best timing but Mark wants me to inform you to not be late for soccer practice or he’s going to kick your balls inside out.”

 

Sehun rolls his eyes and brushes Jongdae off. “Let’s just get some coffee and head to class.” The local starbucks was just a few streets ahead right before they headed to the campus. Jongdae often joined him on the subway ride to campus since they both lived in same area of the city. Chanyeol rarely wakes up in time to not rush to morning classes. Sehun will pick him up a coffee too just in case.

 

Naturally, Sehun almost immediately spots  _ him _ when he walks in. He is the center of attention with his cherry pink hair styled and his bright eyes lighting up in conversation. Sehun ignores the jealous that bites at his ankles at how easily Jongin can be comfortable around his friends but when it came to Sehun he was quick to shy away. They fucked regularly for christ’s sake. Jongin could at least smile at him.

 

Sehun wants to turn around to go but Jongdae’s grip on his arm is tight. He  _ knows _ and has known for quite some time about Jongin. He just put the pieces together himself and swore himself to secrecy because Jongin did not want it spreading around campus.

 

Ten, Sicheng, and Hansol accompany Jongin this morning. They’re all waiting for their orders to be called when Sicheng waves them over. The subtle step behind Hansol does not go unnoticed by Sehun when Jongin’s smile stiffens some.

 

“Sehun needs his double shot to stay awake through lit.” Jongdae says with a tiny smile as his eyes narrow in on Jongin. Jongdae is just being a good friend but Sehun knows Jongin does not deserve the other’s resentment.

 

“It looks like he may need a little more than coffee to stay awake.” Hansol teases pointing out something on Sehun’s neck.

 

Sehun knows what it is before he even reaches for his neck. A purplish hickey at the collar of his shirt. Sehun only offers a sheepish smile purposely ignoring Jongin’s knowing gaze. 

 

“Just a coffee will do.” Sehun says softly as he moves to pick up his drink when his name is called. “Well, I'll see you guys.” He manages as he turns with Jongdae to go.

 

“Sehun!” It's Jongin, surprisingly. Seldom does he say much to him in public. Sehun turns to look at the other, curious of what he wants.

 

Despite resenting Jongin he is very fond of the elder. The way his eyes flicker nervously, his tongue darts over his thin pink lips, and his hands curl around the sleeves of his sweater. It reminds Sehun of the weight of the other’s phone charger in his bag. 

 

“I  _ j _ -just wanted to remind you we had a study date this afternoon. I'll see you then?” Jongin asks even though it's bullshit Sehun finds himself nodding because he's so incredibly whipped.

 

“See you then, hyung.” He replies and heads off with Jongdae who is sighing loudly.

 

“I don't understand you two. You clearly like him and he  _ clearly  _ likes you–he fucking gives you those lost, wounded, impossibly pretty puppy dog eyes. Yet you're both so far in the closet.”

 

Sehun shrugs. Jongin didn't want to be in a relationship and didn't want anyone to know he was gay. It was bad enough Jongdae had found out. Who was Sehun to pressure someone who wasn't ready to come out? Jongin was a really good person. He was considerate, hardworking, and so selfless–Sehun could endure the other being scared and worried about his reputation. Jongin had a conservative family and many people depending on him. Korea wasn't exactly known for its accepting environment for gay people or anyone who didn't fit the norm.

 

“He'll come around.” Sehun says.

 

“And if he doesn't, Hun? Then what?” Jongdae asks, “You be his secret boyfriend until he marries or graduates?”

 

“Don't be an ass.” But Jongdae is right. There is a possibility Jongin will never be what Sehun wants him to be. Would he be willingly to accept that?  _ Possibly _ . At this point it was desperation that kept Sehun open for Jongin. The other was everything Sehun wanted in another person and he made him feel so many incredible things but likewise he felt dread and horrifyingly bad at being the other's secret.

 

One could just  _ hope _ that maybe one day they can be together like Sehun wants: hand in hand publicly and no question about what kind of relationship they had.

 

Class is slow and boring. He can only really think about his  _ study date _ . Even by the time Chanyeol shows up to campus accompanied by his older girlfriend Irene who happens to be working on her masters Sehun is solely focused on seeing Jongin again. It's sad how most days are spent like this: pinning on any future with a guy not willing to allow them to have a future.

 

Sehun decides he won't meet Jongin. He isn't feeling that masochistic to suffer two days in a row. Instead, he sends a cryptic message about how he's unable to meet with Jongin to  _ study  _ and how apologetic he is for canceling. He ignores the call he gets on his bus ride from the other as he makes a choice.

 

Sehun can suffer knowing he will never get what he wants from Jongin or put his foot down to make the other consider him seriously.

 

Perhaps he was scared knowing Jongin ultimately would drop him? He was worried he wouldn't choose him. He would resent him for that but not stop caring merely because Jongin prioritized his own self-preservation first. Sehun couldn't fault him for that considering he wasn't considered  _ out  _ either.

 

Maybe getting over Jongin would be the best for the  _ both  _ of them.

  
  
  


Days go by and many messages are left unresponded to. Even more are left unread. There isn't anything to say at this point and Sehun knows he's hurting Jongin. The best he could do was minimize that hurt by distancing themselves from each other. Sehun goes as far as avoiding him on campus knowing the other’s doe like eyes are a weakness for him. There is no denying the way he crumbles when Jongin looks weak–eager to build the fragile man back up.

 

Jongdae throws him pitiful glances and Chanyeol comments on his moping. Sehun just ones both focusing on his classes.

 

He visits his family on the weekends to avoid encounters he might see Jongin among his friend group at parties or get togethers. He avoids all the places Jongin likes to visit. It's a paranoia really - knowing Jongin only has to cast those beautiful brown eyes at him for him to fall to his knees before the vixen.

 

Maybe it's naive of him to think in time and space his feelings would fade. Instead, his hunger grows. Days and weeks go by yet  _ still _ the mention of Jongin has Sehun's head spinning and heart pounding. Jongin was likable and admired by many. There was no doubting his popularity among the girls and his envy with the boys. He was regularly voted most attractive by his peers despite shyly remaining humble. He was the golden boy and Sehun was just another person cast in his waves as collateral.

 

“This isn't healthy, dude.” Chanyeol finally intervenes one afternoon interrupting Sehun's Gossip Girl marathon. (A guilty pleasure he picked up from his overseas studies in America – also how he met Chanyeol, attending the same high school in a Chicago suburb.)

“ _ What _ ?” Sehun asks as he peers up at his roommate blocking the tv. He's fine. Besides this unhealthy obsession with Lee Jongin, he's perfectly fine.

 

“When is the last time you went on a date?” Chanyeol suggests and he knows he means well but the reality is no other person could possibly compare to Jongin. He is everything Sehun could ever possibly want or need. It was not even like Jongin was a bad guy - he was merely a coward that cared too much about what the world thought of him. Something Sehun can hardly fault him for. “Give it a shot? One date with someone and I will be off your back. You can mope as much as you want to afterwards. You’re depressing, man.”

 

Sehun reluctantly agrees to meet with whoever Chanyeol can find that pities him enough to go on a date. He is hardly interested but there is some hope that  _ somehow _ someone can cure him of his Jongin sickness.

 

Ultimately, it’s a bust. Baekhyun is both gorgeous and charming. He laughs and Sehun feels like if he wasn’t head over heels for Jongin he might be warmed by that smile. Baekhyun is funny and prompts Sehun with many clever jokes. He has such oddly affectionate mannerisms that it’s startling for Sehun who has only had romantic contact with Jongin for the past many months. But, he isn’t Jongin.

 

“So, who are you thinking about?” Baekhyun asks with a slight tilt of his head during their coffee date. Sehun between studying, clubs and working at a nearby bar has little time to do much else. Coffee is always needed.

 

He has enough decency to be sheepish at being caught, embarrassed by the fact he was caught thinking about someone else. “Someone not bold enough to be out with coffee with me.”

 

Baekhyun hums at this and nods slowly understanding. He’s Japanese so it has easier than Sehun. Korea is only his temporary home, leaving behind his homophobic family for his own freedom. He is not tied down by duty and can do as he wishes. Sehun envies that. “Whoever it is sure is missing out. Chanyeol forgot to mention his friend was incredibly handsome.” Baekhyun flirts, taking no offense to the fact Sehun had been thinking about someone else during their date. Maybe it’s a mark of maturity, or a ‘ _ been there, done that _ ’ sort of situation, or perhaps Baekhyun just was not phased by what would hurt another’s pride. “But let me tell you one thing about closet guys - they’re not willing to be happy so you shouldn’t let them drag you down in their misery as well.” His voice is solemn but sincere, “ _ So _ , do you want a second date Mr. Sehun? I am willing to forgive you for not giving me your undivided attention if you accompany me to a party. I am in need of a handsome dancing partner.”

 

Sehun barely has enough time to register everything. He looks at Baekhyun and he wants to see someone who can return his feelings,  _ if _ feelings ever became a thing. It would be selfish of him, yes. But Sehun has been selfless so far and only gotten hurt in return. He finds himself nodding despite knowing it’s a horrible idea. 

 

He was only going to hurt someone in the end.

  
  


Days with Baekhyun are days he doesn’t think so much about his heart. He can forget when he is wrapped in the cologne Baekhyun wears or basks in the shameless flirting. Most importantly, Baekhyun is not ashamed of him boldly taking his hand here or there and when he is in a particularly good mood telling everyone how handsome his date was.

 

Sehun is just starved of any and all affection he will take it where he gets it. Chanyeol seems pleased but Jongdae knows better.

 

“You’re a fucking dumb ass.” He spits one afternoon after a nice date with Baekhyun to see a movie, “But I suppose you are  _ my  _ dumb ass so I will stick around when this gets messy. What are you going to do if Jongin finds out assuming he doesn’t already know. You know you and Baekhyun are the talk of the campus right now? No one has seen something so  _ scandalous _ .”

 

“Baekhyun just makes me happy.” It’s easy. Light, no strings attached, and Baekhyun knows his heart is with someone else. He had not been dishonest or promised anything he couldn’t give right now. Wasn’t this what dating was supposed to be like?

 

“The thing if you cannot make Baekhyun happy. What can you offer him?” Jongdae says, “I just don’t want to see you hurt, Hun. Give yourself a break from that masochistic shit.”

 

Jongdae is right. Sehun has nothing to offer the other male. Not when his heart belongs to someone else. He wonders if Baekhyun wants or expects him to grow fond of him. Sehun  _ is _ fond of Baekhyun but he cannot be anything more than fond. The thing is he is too coward to ask Baekhyun either just in case this easy comfortable companionship has to come to an end. He was such a fucking prick.

 

But Baekhyun is not dumb. He knows. He knows he knows because Baekhyun treats him gently like a boy who has been wounded. He gives freely with no requests of anything being returned because Sehun has never had anything given to him freely. He is  _ such  _ a good guy. Sehun desperately wishes he met Baekhyun first. He does not want to see disappointment in Baekhyun’s eyes when one day Sehun has to be honest and say it will  _ always _ be Jongin,  _ only _ Jongin.

 

Sehun doesn’t answer his texts, messages, or calls anymore. If they see each other on campus Sehun is careful to turn the other way or knows Jongin will not approach when Jongdae is glaring at him or Baekhyun is pressed happily to his side. He uses them both as a shield and he feels bad about it but he knows what till happen if they’re alone together. Sehun will just crumble at the first bat of Jongin’s pretty lashes.

 

Giving himself a chance at happiness is harder than expected.

  
  
  


He knows he cannot avoid Jongin forever. He can only avoid and hide behind his friends for so long. He does not know how long he can last but he thought it would be a bit longer. Instead, he does not stop to think Jongin would just come to his apartment.

 

He does not notice him right away as he is lugging his things in and pushing forward from a long study session. He only notices the looming presence by the door to his place when he peers up from his phone screen from a text Chanyeol sent about going to Irene’s that night. Jongin is standing looking lost dressed in an oversized hoodie with his eyes casted to the ground. He looks so fragile it almost hurts as he looks up at the approaching male. His wide eyes are full of so many conflicting emotions but the most evident is  _ want _ because Sehun knows that look well. It’s mirrored in his own eyes.

 

“Sehun- I am  _ sorry _ I shouldn’t have come unannounced but I wanted to see you.” Jongin says softly, voice gentle as it has ever been.

 

“You could have saw me at school. I am sure it’s an inconvenience for you to come all the way here just to  _ see _ me.” He is being a dick and being harsh. He knows it. But, his heart was not ready to leap back in Jongin’s arms to be casted aside.

 

“I- _ I _ just….You’re with  _ Baekhyun  _ now?” The way Jongin manages to look at him wants to make him cross the space to reassure him that  _ no _ , no one can ever replace what Jongin is to him. He did not need to make those wounded deer eyes at him. He loved him and he always would.

 

“Why don’t you come inside?”

 

Sehun thinks he gets it–how some people can end up like hurricanes sweeping through any and everything around them like storms. Jongin is the storm and Sehun's heart is the collateral. Even so, Sehun knows he can only be hopelessly lost in the other.

 

He switches on a light when he opens the door, kicking his shoes off, and setting his bag aside. He pads to the kitchen as he hears Jongin doing the same behind him unsure of the normalcy this brings after such a question.

 

Honestly, Sehun isn't quite sure how he's going to respond yet as he moves to pour them both something to drink. Jongin hovers by the door, fingers nervously tugging at his sleeves, and eyes inconsistently flickering from the floor to Hun. He's worrying his bottom lip and Sehun can imagine how he must  _ feel _ as if something in this universe might threaten to take Sehun away from him.

 

“Baekhyun and I are seeing each other.” Sehun admits since there is no pretense about that. Baekhyun is interested and Sehun is trying his hardest to burn Jongin from his memory but he seems stuck like cement. “We're not dating though.” If they were Jongin wouldn't be inside his home. Sehun isn't that much of trash.

 

Jongin doesn't seem satisfied with his answer but looks reluctant to say so. The disapproval is evident in his eyes framed by thick lashes and shining too vividly to be real. “ _ Why _ ? He isn't your type. I just–did I do something wrong? I know I am not giving you everything you want but I  _ thought _ –…”

 

Sehun clicks his his tongue against the roof of  his mouth. Poor Jongin had thought. “What are you saying?  _ You're  _ my type? Someone who can't even be honest with himself or the people around him? What did you think? That us  _ fucking  _ out of convenience meant we were together?”

 

Jongin’s expression drops. “No.” The hurt crosses his face as his brows angle downward his eyes shaky and uncertain. “ _ Hun _ , I know you think I'm this disgusting person who only wants you around for sex but do you really believe that?” Sehun's accusations are meant to hurt and wrong, he knows. “If it was sex it could be anyone.”

 

Sehun takes a sip of his drink eyes looking up at the trembling figure in the kitchen doorway. Jongin hasn't taken a step towards him. The poor guy. He really deserved more than some hidden coupling and spiteful attacks. “What should I believe when you have given me nothing else to think? You're  _ here _ for what? To discuss my relationship with another guy. You're not my boyfriend and you're not entitled to any of that information.”

 

Jongin goes rigid. “ _ Sehun _ .” He says weaker but Sehun won't have it. It just hurts.

 

“You want to know what sleeping with him is like?” It is  _ so  _ cruel of him.

 

Jongin basically jumps in his skin as he shakes his head quickly the words stuck in his throat as he looks like he is about to bolt. He's going to cry. Sehun can see the way his shoulders curl into himself and the male's fingers dig patterns into his own palms. His eyes gloss over and his face stiffens trying to reign in his display of emotions. “ _ I'm sorry! _ ” Jongin finally sobs his hands covering his eyes as a small whimper escapes his lips. “I'm sorry Sehun. I'm  _ sorry _ . I'm just scared and I know I cannot justify this all with fear. You're important to me and I'm not using you. I don't want to be anyone you see only at night but I'm so  _ scared  _ of what people will think or say… I don't mean to hurt you so  _ please _ don't be this cold with me.  _ Please _ .”

 

Sehun watches the lost boy in front of him crumble. Maybe he just wants to see him hurt because Sehun has been hurting for so long he cannot differentiate what is  _ love _ and what is  _ pain _ . At the same time he knows Jongin is not deserving of this and he does not want to spill his tears. Not from those gorgeous eyes.

 

Jongin flinches as he moves forward and presses a hand to his cheek. Jongin’s eyes flicker to his and his teeth suck his bottom lip. How  _ fucking _ fragile he seems but Jongin curves towards him pressing his forehead against his shoulder. “Jongin, don’t cry.” Sehun soothes gently.

 

But the other’s eyes have long since overflowed burying his face against him. “I don’t want to lose you.” Jongin says hoarsely.

 

“You haven't lost me.”  _ You could never lose me _ . “I am still here, aren’t I?”  _ I will always be here _ . “Where would I go if not to you?”

 

Jongin’s willowy arms find their way around him locking tightly. It’s enough - that small action - to make him feel wanted and needed. It soothes the hurt of rejection and dismissal almost immediately. Sehun’s fingers rake through the pink hair gently leaning to press a small kiss on his temple. It would  _ always _ be Jongin.

  
  
  


Undressing Jongin’s shivering frame is slow. No matter how many times Sehun has seen him exposed the other never fails to be timid. He unlaced the male’s shoes as he pushes him back against the bed tugging the tough material of jeans away from smooth thin legs. He shimmies his shirt off and his arms crossed around his body as if to hide himself. Sehun moves to undress himself watching the curious gaze of the other land on him not bothering to burn away as Sehun loses each article of clothing.

 

Jongin is hard. Of course he is. It’s been so long since they last touched it must have built up. Sehun slides under the covers and presses himself against Jongin’s front with his mouth falling on the slope of his neck.

 

They just lay there like that. It’s different than how most nights are between them but Sehun finds he prefers this. He can pretend it’s not just a fuck and Jongin is something more than he is to him.

 

“Sehun, would you want to date?”

 

“You’re not one to keep promises, Ni.” Sehun says not wanting to fall into the hoping and the pinning again. It’s enough Jongin needs and wants him in return. He would be asking too much for Jongin to be committed to him when he cannot even be honest to himself.

 

“What if I came out? If I wasn’t ashamed? Would you want to be with me then? Would you forget guys like Baekhyun?” Jongin asked quietly, weakly, uncertain. He knows he is stepping into dangerous territory.

 

_ Perhaps _ , Sehun is imagining it but he  _ swears _ he can feel the other’s heart beat pressed firmly against his own. If only Jongin knew how guys like Baekhyun truly did not matter to him. However, for the sake of it he wants himself to feel elusive to the other. It would consume Sehun’s pride a little too much for Jongin to know how tightly he is wrapped around his finger.

 

“I wouldn’t want you to do that for me but for yourself.” Sehun says as Jongin presses his cheek against the crown of Sehun’s head.

 

“But I want  _ you _ . And you want a boyfriend and not someone who is using you living this double life.” Jongin says softly, “I don’t want you to feel like my dirty secret.”

 

Sehun only sighs, “Jongin shut up. You’re going to ruin the mood.” He murmurs back. After all, any future was for Jongin to decide anyways. If he wanted to be with Sehun he could be. If he didn’t then he didn’t have to. Sehun was that awfully loyal pup that would stay at the hand that fed him.

 

Jongin shuts up though. Maybe because he knows Sehun is not going to encourage him to do something that could potentially make him unhappy. Maybe Jongin knows how much power he holds over the other male’s heart. He can  _ feel _ the desperate way Sehun holds onto him and the sheer devotion that seeps from the other’s warm brown eyes. He can feel the possessiveness in the way his fingers span around his waist, the excitement of the other eagerly pressing into him, and the desire to  _ have _ him when their lips collide.

 

And because he knows how much Sehun cares it is why he cannot excuse himself for hurting him so. Jongin did not ask for these fears that seem so insurmountable and thick. A fog of expectations has fallen upon his willowy thin wrists and his hands threaten to snap back ripping past the pale translucent skin to break his last  _ real _ chance happiness. He could be happy with Sehun - this he is certain about.. Sure as the sun will rise and the sky is blue. Sehun loves him more than anything else in the world. Even  _ himself _ . It is why Jongin cannot excuse himself even though the other male does it for him.

 

“Sehun,” Jongin sounds different this time, “You know I love you right?” He pauses as if he has to think about the weight those words hold. Oh, how they crush everything resentful and angry in Sehun’s chest. As if he has thrown a hammer into Sehun’s resistance bettter than any kiss or soft timid look could. The power Jongin holds is really so more than comprehensible words could fathom. Sehun is nothing but a lightweight to Jongin’s glory.

 

_ Oh _ , the sweet burn. How those turbulent waves crash at the shores of Sehun’s weak, weak,  _ weak _ mind. The maddening burst of fire that erupts in his chest, the dizzying euphoria that threatens to rock him off his axis and into the unknown that is blissfully, catastrophically, and completely  _ Jongin _ .

 

Jongin is his life. His god. His purpose. Sehun’s heart is nothing but an altar to sacrifice.It is why people like Baekhyun will never be even a candle flame to Jongin’s radiant and tragic supernova. It is why kissing Jongin’s gentle pink lips is like consuming stardust and ocean water, filling these meager weak lungs with every ounce of the tragedy he can muster. Love is such a wonderfully horrific thing that can make reasonable people do and be unreasonable things.

 

It is why Sehun is sliding down to the pits of hell knowing he would sacrifice everything to lay with Jongin like this never daring to ask for more. How he would fucking rip his bleeding remorseful heart from his spidery ribcage and offer it to whatever demon of affection that has taken a hold of him so he may  _ fucking _ breath in the same air as the man he loves.

 

Love is hell and Jongin happens to be his glorious devil of circumstance.

 


End file.
